Thursday, July 24, 2008

Practical Thursday Part Ten

Ha ha - another Pearl free day (not that we're trying to keep her off the blog or anything!). So here's another chapter of Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats - enjoy!

GUS: THE THEATER CAT
Gus is the Cat at the Theater Door.
His name, as I ought to have told you before,
Is really Asparagus. That's such a fuss
To pronounce, that we usually call him just Gus.
His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake,
And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake.
Yet he was, in his youth, quite the smartest of Cats-
But no longer a terror to mice and to rats.
For he isn't the Cat that he was in his prime;
Though his name was quite famous, he says, in its time.
And whenever he joins his friends at their club
(Which takes place at the back of the neighbouring pub)
He loves to regale them, if someone else pays,
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days.
For he acted with Irving, he's acted with Tree.
And he likes to relate his success on the Halls,
Where the Gallery once gave him seven cat-calls.
But his grandest creation, as he loves to tell,
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.

'I have played', so he says, 'every possible part,
And I used to know seventy speeches by heart.
I'd extemporize back-chat, I knew how to gag,
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag.
I knew how to act with my back and my tail;
With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail.
I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts,
Whether I took the lead, or in character parts.
I have sat by the bedside of poor Little Nell;
When the Curfew was run, then I swung on the bell.
In the Pantomime season I never fell flat
And I once understudied Dick Whittington's Cat.
But my grandest creation, as history will tell,
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.'

Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin,
He will tell how he once played a part in Easy Lynne.
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat,
When some actor suggested the need for a cat.
He once played a Tiger - could do it again -
Which an Indian Colonel pursued down a drain.
And he thinks that he still can, much better than most,
Produce blood-curdling noises to bring on the Ghost.
And he once crossed the stage on a telegraph wire,
To rescue a child when a house was on fire.
And he says: 'Now, these kittens, they do not get trained
As we did in the days when Victoria reigned.
They never get drilled in a regular troupe,
And the think they are smart, just to jump through a hoop.'
And he'll say, as he scratches himself with his claws,
'Well, the Theater's certainly not what it was.
These modern productions are all very well,
But there's nothing to equal, from what I hear tell,
          That moment of myster
          When I made history
As Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.'

7 comments:

Purrageous Pirates said...

While I do love your Practical Thursday, I do not like Pearl-free days! We need more Pearl days - entire Pearl weeks and months and years of Pearl Pearl Pearl!! - Dante

Oh great, he started panting and then fell over. We think not having Pearl days may be a good thing, but do not tell Dante that! He just gets way too excited when he sees her - Captain Jack and Fagin

Queen Snickers and Empress said...

We did not realize there where so many cats in CATS haha!

loves & purrrs Jake! ~Queen Snickers

Tazo said...

We're with Queen Snickers. That's a ton of cats in CATS.

Bert, I'm coming over.

Love and whiskie kissies!

jenianddean said...

Poor Pearl ... at least she gets to post tomorrow.
--Jasper

The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

Wow, great practical Thursday!!!

We have an another new member on TATA. Come and see!!!

Mickey said...

Another fun Practical Thursday ,complete with movies!!!!
Lots a cats :)
Cool,heehee
Purrs Mickey

Sweet Praline said...

We just love CATS, the musical. My mom got to see it on Broadway before it left.

Sorry we haven't visited in a couple of days. Mom's laptop crashed and she is still feeling yechy!