Thursday, September 11, 2008

Practical Thursday Part Thirteen

And finally we arrive at the very last of our Practical Thursdays, with the last poem of the book of Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats


You've read of several kinds of Cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand their character.
You now have learned enough to see
That Cats are much like you and me
And other people whom we find
Possessed of various types of mind.
For some are sane and some are mad
And some are good and some are bad
And some are better, some are worse-
But all may be described in verse.
You've sen them both at work and games,
And learnt about their proper names,
Their habits and their habitat:
        How would you ad-dress a Cat?

So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A CAT IS NOT A DOG.

Now Dogs pretend they like to fight;
They often bark, more seldom bite;
But yet a Dog is, on the whole,
What you would call a simple soul.
Of course I'm not included Pekes,
And such fantastic canine freaks.
The unusual Dog about the Town
Is much inclined to play the clown,
And far from showing too much pride
Is frequently undignified.
He's very easily taken in-
Just chuck him underneath the chin
Or slap his back or shake his paw,
And he will gambol and guffaw.
He's such an easy-going lout,
He'll answer any hail or shout.

Again I must remind you that
A Dog's a Dog-A CAT'S A CAT.

With Cats, some say, one rule is true:
Don't speak till you are spoken to.
Myself, I do not hold with that-
I say, you should ad-dress a Cat.
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
I bow, and taking off my hat,
Ad-dress him in this form: O CAT!
But if he is the Cat next door,
Whom I have often met before
(He comes to see me in my flat)
I greet him with and OOPSA CAT!
I've heard them call him James Buz-James-
But we've not got so far as names.
Before a Cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream;

And you might now and then supply
Some caviare, or Strassburg Pie,
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste-
He's sure to have his personal taste.
(I know a Cat, who makes a habit
Of eating nothing else but a rabbit,
And when he's finished, licks his paws
So's not to waste the onion sauce.)
A Cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
And so in time you reach your aim,
And finally call him by his NAME.

So this is this, and that is that:
And there's how you AD-DRESS A CAT.


The Taylor CatSSSSS said...

MOMMY LOVES CATS!! The musical and the actually furries!!

What a great post!

The Island Cats said...

Thanks for reminding our mom how good "Cats" the musical is! She saw it a couple of times.

Wally, Ernie & Zoey

pee ess. we gave you guys an award...come see!

DEBRA said...


Clappin paws....
we just loves this...


Gandalf and Grayson said...

Yay! Of course a Cat's a Cat!

goldenshade said...


Now the PM wants to see the musical again!

Purrs Goldie and Shade

milocat said...

Mom went to see "Cats" on Broadway - when she was on her honeymoon after getting married in New York. Mom loves real cats too! Just as well cos she's got me!

Purrageous Pirates said...

Oh what a great Thursday post as always. We really liked it!

Dante is sending lots of purrs and nosekisses to his beautiful and brave Black Pearl!!

Miz Allie Cat said...

lovres it.. meow...I just gave you an award

Princess said...

Yay! I absolutely love CATS!

purrs for a happy day!

Sweet Praline said...

Mom says she forgot about this song. She got to see Cats on Broadway before it left and she loved it.

日月神教-任我行 said...